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October 05 纽约小聚之笑料 笑料1： 在余可车上，地瓜接到完美电话，任务是订晚餐席位。地瓜按照完美提供的电话拨打：212×××××××，张口说：“你好，故乡味，我们要订一张晚上的桌子。”对方回答:"这里不是故乡味，你打错了。“ 笑点是，在一个随机打错的电话内，大家都说中文。 笑料2： 到了晚餐地点，其他人都没到，余可去check桌子，经理问：”请问是哪位先生订的桌子，他贵姓？“余可回答：”姓地。“ 笑点是，地瓜姓”地“吗？ September 02 回成都的收获 前两天跑回成都待了几天，颇有收获： 1. 学会目前最新麻将打法两种：下雨和闷牌 2. 砂锅、皇城老妈、农家乐、稀饭都吃过一遍 3. 看了一场“快女”5进4赛的访谈，造成回到深圳后追看4进3比赛。 怎么也没想通：这个郁可维也就才26岁，怎么就被人称为大妈、娘娘？还有，她唱的很好啊，分数排第二，怎么莫名其妙被PK了…… August 17 等待工作许可的日子（2） “这只是一份工作” 我不愿意矫情，但是这真的就是一份工作而已，不管这份工作的地点是在什么地方，工作多长时间，拿多少薪水，这些事由不得我自己。我和前任老板一共就这个问题谈过两次话，加起来不超过3分钟。 第一次，前任老板说准备派人去，问我有没有兴趣。我回答说有兴趣，但是多长时间？多少钱？老板说：“我也不知道。”OVER. 第二次，前任老板调离原部门的时候，问我啥时候能办完手续，还等着呢？我回答说，还等着呢。老板说：“万一去不了你怎么办？”我说：“我也不知道。”OVER. 说实话，要不是对原来按部就班的日子已经有点腻了，我何必要离开熟悉、喧嚣、精彩的这片热土，去一个陌生、冷清、单调的地方？ “发现别样的生活” 我觉得自己一直都是“老婆孩子热炕头”那种人，简单的生活就能够非常快乐，到现在我的电脑里还有星际、冠军足球经理可见一斑。下了班就急着回家吃饭，一般应酬都不愿去。除非打麻将，周末一般不愿意出街就愿意在家里宅着，特自在惬意。最近才在家里LD的强烈要求下周末去喝个茶，看个电影。也许，我已经上了年纪？ 还好，年轻时混过的底子还在。去KTV一般不会有人嫌我唱的难听也就歌老点；去酒吧一般不会有人怪我瞎点啤酒也就芝华士兑绿茶土点；去烧烤一般知道要为人民服务多干少吃也就只会烤肉类俗点。不过，到了新的地方怎么玩？兄弟们要多教教我。先说：别介绍太漂亮的姑娘给我，家里LD是天蝎。 等待工作许可的日子（1）“广大人民群众情绪稳定，各项工作正有序开展。” 上述标签，可以做一个概括。 情绪稳定：“少干活多拿钱，不干活也拿钱”。我认为这代表了我个人职业理想，是一种愿景。但多年来一直如同上足了的发条一样运作，客观上无能也无法实现这样的规划。天赐良机，感谢USCIS，美国移民局在去年底和今年1季度对我的工作许可申请的两次否决。感谢在美律师工作效率的出奇低下，我得以拥有可贵的一段较闲暇的时光。谢谢！ 工作有序：最近半年来，我以平均每月350分钟以上的国际长途被中国移动评为最受欢迎客户。可惜我的手机是动感地带预付费套餐，移动方面应该无法获取本人的姓名、住址等详细信息。因此我可能无法获得“中国移动最有价值客户”类似的提名，但我为大幅度提高移动ARPU作出了巨大的贡献，为动感地带品牌客户争取了无上荣光！ 因为我必须参加和列席的会议包括： 1. 每月一次，每次3小时的EXECUTIVE MEETING 2. 每月一次，每次1小时的ALCO 3. 每月一次，每次1小时的RISK MANAGMENT COMMITTEE 另外，还可能有： 4. 每月1-2次，每次1小时的CREDIT APPROVAL MEETING 5. 各种各样的工作讨论和项目会议 6. 与同事的八卦讨论等。 根据我6个月来2000多封邮件收件和1000多封发件，以及上述每月超过350分钟的国际长话（不计入接听时间），以上证明“远程办公”完全是可行的。 特别感谢中国移动推出的“12593”IP长话业务，将通讯资费从正常的2.49元/MIN降低到0.39元/MIN，否则，我要么将是中国金融行业内第一个因为手机通讯费过高而破产的小头目，要么将是第一个因为长期不参加办公会议而被开除的小头目。 July 21 Auguries of Innocence Auguries of Innocence -William Blake(England) To see a world in a grain of sand And a heaven in a wild flower, Hold infinity in the palm of your hand And eternity in an hour. A robin redbreast in a cage Puts all heaven in a rage. A dove-house filled with doves and pigeons Shudders hell through all its regions. A dog starved at his master's gate Predicts the ruin of the state. A horse misused upon the road Calls to heaven for human blood. Each outcry of the hunted hare A fibre from the brain does tear. A skylark wounded in the wing, A cherubim does cease to sing. The game-cock clipped and armed for fight Does the rising sun affright. Every wolf's and lion's howl Raises from hell a human soul. The wild deer wandering here and there Keeps the human soul from care. The lamb misused breeds public strife, And yet forgives the butcher's knife. The bat that flits at close of eve Has left the brain that won't believe. The owl that calls upon the night Speaks the unbeliever's fright. He who shall hurt the little wren Shall never be beloved by men. He who the ox to wrath has moved Shall never be by woman loved. The wanton boy that kills the fly Shall feel the spider's enmity. He who torments the chafer's sprite Weaves a bower in endless night. The caterpillar on the leaf Repeats to thee thy mother's grief. Kill not the moth nor butterfly, For the Last Judgment draweth nigh. He who shall train the horse to war Shall never pass the polar bar. The beggar's dog and widow's cat, Feed them, and thou wilt grow fat. The gnat that sings his summer's song Poison gets from Slander's tongue. The poison of the snake and newt Is the sweat of Envy's foot. The poison of the honey-bee Is the artist's jealousy. The prince's robes and beggar's rags Are toadstools on the miser's bags. A truth that's told with bad intent Beats all the lies you can invent. It is right it should be so: Man was made for joy and woe; And when this we rightly know Through the world we safely go. Joy and woe are woven fine, A clothing for the soul divine. Under every grief and pine Runs a joy with silken twine. The babe is more than swaddling bands, Throughout all these human lands; Tools were made and born were hands, Every farmer understands. Every tear from every eye Becomes a babe in eternity; This is caught by females bright And returned to its own delight. The bleat, the bark, bellow, and roar Are waves that beat on heaven's shore. The babe that weeps the rod beneath Writes Revenge! in realms of death. The beggar's rags fluttering in air Does to rags the heavens tear. The soldier armed with sword and gun Palsied strikes the summer's sun. The poor man's farthing is worth more Than all the gold on Afric's shore. One mite wrung from the labourer's hands Shall buy and sell the miser's lands, Or if protected from on high Does that whole nation sell and buy. He who mocks the infant's faith Shall be mocked in age and death. He who shall teach the child to doubt The rotting grave shall ne'er get out. He who respects the infant's faith Triumphs over hell and death. The child's toys and the old man's reasons Are the fruits of the two seasons. The questioner who sits so sly Shall never know how to reply. He who replies to words of doubt Doth put the light of knowledge out. The strongest poison ever known Came from Caesar's laurel crown. Nought can deform the human race Like to the armour's iron brace. When gold and gems adorn the plough To peaceful arts shall Envy bow. A riddle or the cricket's cry Is to doubt a fit reply. The emmet's inch and eagle's mile Make lame philosophy to smile. He who doubts from what he sees Will ne'er believe, do what you please. If the sun and moon should doubt, They'd immediately go out. To be in a passion you good may do, But no good if a passion is in you. The whore and gambler, by the state Licensed, build that nation's fate. The harlot's cry from street to street Shall weave old England's winding sheet. The winner's shout, the loser's curse, Dance before dead England's hearse. Every night and every morn Some to misery are born. Every morn and every night Some are born to sweet delight. Some are born to sweet delight, Some are born to endless night. We are led to believe a lie When we see not through the eye Which was born in a night to perish in a night, When the soul slept in beams of light. God appears, and God is light To those poor souls who dwell in night, But does a human form display To those who dwell in realms of day. June 10 ZZ:网上流传的新版北大人测试 献给北大校友
April 10 物质和反物质 很多年以前，我还是标准的文青，大师们告诉我，物质的对立面是精神。要求我们注重精神修养，少谈物质享受。 很多年以后，我大腹便便猥琐下流胡子拉碴鼠目寸光求田问舍不求上进，但是我突然明白了，大师们是在忽悠人，物质和精神是如此和谐，绝对可以并存。 你有文化，你有品位，你有精神追求，你要看图兰朵去西藏收集书画帕格尼尼喝蓝山吃阳澄湖品大红袍抽古巴雪茄听黑胶碟看高清带，甚至你买车都要小众不搞日本车非要SAAB95陆地飞行买房都不要公寓要独立宅子不要CASIO要OMEGA，养小蜜都不要洗头妹要中戏上戏上不了戏的姑娘。OK，没问题，everything is possible,only if you have money。当然物质和精神完美共存，谁说不能？ 至于物质的对立面是什么？ft，你傻啊，当然是反物质！ 反物质和物质对上了，就是湮灭。所以你要是反物质，你必然就空虚，又空又虚。 April 04 N年过去了，金融职业推介行业（猎头）还是垃圾堆 帮一位北美意图海归的哥们搜工作，结果相当失望： 1.中国最大的招聘网站：ChinaHR.com,搜索条件： 关键字：VP， 职位类别：金融业 行业类别：金融业 其他不限。 结果只有两条：投资副总裁（VP）(04）蓝橡投资顾问（北京）有限公司（蓝橡资本）；和Relationship Manager,Private Banking, China SCB。 关键字改为：director,其他不变 结果只有两条：Associate Director/Director, Energy China Standard Chartered（渣打银行） ，和Executive Assistant to HR Director人力资源助理 国际创奕集团上海分公司 无法满足需求。 2.号称是中国最大的SNS网站，TIANJI.COM，正好我也是会员， 浏览职位-行业选择金融财务-其他不选，搜索结果3页。简单浏览一下，80%是推销保险的，过滤，选择“工作职能”为高级管理： 出来的两个结果： 平安保险重庆部门副总经理 泰康人寿郑州部门业务主管 FT，还是卖保险。 3.行业网站，号称中国最大的金融招聘网站，bankhr.com 关键字：VP 抱歉，没有找到需要的结果。 关键字：VICE PRESIDENT 抱歉，没有找到需要的结果。 关键字：director 3条结果：投行业务项目合伙人（Executive director &... 北京赢思强投资咨询有限公司，投资银行业务-Associate director Hays Executive，Managing director Hays Executive 稍微有点靠谱。 最失望的不是结果少，而是国内的金融行业分类无法让人找到适合自己的职位： 目前北美的主要分类方式是这样的： 美国比较流行的一个金融招聘网站efinancialcareers,金融类SECTOR按照下表分类：
一目了然，包括了所有金融类行业的主要工作类别，点击进去即可查询详细的职位状态。 再看看国内网站使用的分类方式,仍然以BANKHR.COM为例，职位类别如下： 高管/运营类 银行/财政金融类 证券/外汇/期货类 投资/融资/担保/理财类 风险/基金类 顾问/咨询类 项目管理类 财务/审计/税务 保险类 金融翻译/法律类 金融/经济研究分析/金融IT类 市场营销/销售类 行政人事类 请问，一个在外资银行固定收益小组做QUANT的Senior Analyst,如果在BANKHR网站上的分类算是什么岗位？一个经验丰富的OPTION VOL TRADER，在香港做到HEAD OF DERIVATIVES,想要找一个国内衍生产品团队领导的职位，应该归入高管还是投资？一个做贸易融资的高级经理或者DIRECTOR，应该在什么条目下搜索岗位？ 岗位分类和国际金融界不能对接只是一个问题，另一个问题是垃圾职位太多，而高级职位太少。这个就不展开了，总之，你不能让保险推销和美股日内证券交易这样的炮灰职位和首席风险官、职业精算师混在一个栏目里面吧。 |
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